Cue the Sun

The New World

of every fantasy I'd held through each day,
you fulfilled all I had dreamt of,
in the cerebral, and the physical
and you lit a long neglected corner of my soul
awakening a lust for knowing,

you

I never intended this to happen,
I vowed that should I find you,
I wouldn't become a cliché,
that I would understand if it was not to be,
and yet here I am, thinking about you,
at times I least expect my thoughts drift to that drop of time,
when we lay together and the world outside stopped

At last I'd found a heart to trust,
and I allowed myself a guilty pleasure,
to ponder a time I could know your faults,
of learning to live with them, and you with mine

finally I could rest,
in you, with you,
safe from the loneliness of searching
I had found the shelter, and the warmth,
which I had sought so long

I know my manner must have seemed distant,
but my time with you was so surreal,
that I wonder sometimes still,
if perhaps I was dreaming, or imagining you,
and in that momentary space where our lives transposed,
I was not withdrawing, but leaping forward

I parted company with a kiss,
anticipating the time I'd see you again,
and in my bed alone that night
I realised the completeness you'd made me feel.

but on my return you'd changed,
and it occurred to me that maybe you mistook my leaving,
as abandoning or fleeing
but I promise you, that was furthest from my mind,
as you'd given me a glimpse of what it could mean to feel,
the need for a touch, an embrace,
to smell your scent, and taste you on my lips,
or to watch the contours of your face shift in the moonlight as you slept

I know, that should we find each other again
it wouldn't be without its hurts,
that we'd have times of hardship and sorrow,
and that without doubt,
we would hold on to each of these in equal measure,
but that we'd find a way through, I hope
to forge something better and stronger

but for now, at least,
when I softly call your name,
I am gret with nought but silence
And still, I hope you have heard me,
that you will reach into the dark as you did before,
and guide me to the shelter of you

I will wait for you, for a time,
so I can know for sure if you are again searching for me as I am you,
and hope that should you have left me behind,
I rekindle quickly from the smarting realisation,
I am alone, adrift once more